I was adopted. I placed a child for adoption. And for most of my life, I carried those stories in silence.
It’s only now — after years of love, loss, and searching — that I’m finally ready to share them.
Hi, I’m Amanda.
Have you ever been adopted, placed a child for adoption, or love someone who has? This space is for you.
Adoption is complex. It’s filled with love and loss, questions and answers that don’t always come at the same time. I’ve lived both sides of it — I was adopted, and years later, I placed a child for adoption too.
This is the beginning of my story — the one that shaped everything.
💛 Adopted at Birth, Loved Deeply, and Still Wondering
I was adopted as a baby. It was a closed adoption, which meant there was no contact between my birth parents and my adoptive parents.
I grew up with loving parents who were always honest with me. I never felt like it was a secret. I always knew I was wanted.
But even with all the love in the world, I carried quiet questions.
- Who did I come from?
- What was my story before I became theirs?
- Why did my birth mom choose adoption?
🧩 School Made Me Feel Different — Even When I Tried to Blend In
At home, adoption felt normal. It was just part of my life.
But at school, it often felt like something that made me different.
Other kids would ask questions that cut deeper than they realized:
“Do you look like your mom?”
“Why didn’t your real parents keep you?”
“Do you know your real family?”I know they didn’t mean to be cruel — they were just curious. But those moments stuck with me.
I learned to brush them off, to smile, to change the subject. But inside, I felt like I was carrying something no one else could see. Like there was a story inside me that didn’t match anyone else’s.
I didn’t want anyone to think something was wrong with me. Those questions made me feel like I didn’t fully belong anywhere.
I looked like I had it all together. But quietly, I was carrying the weight of a story no one else could see.
✉️ The Letter That Changed Everything at 16
When I turned 16, my mom gave me a letter — one that my birth mom wrote the day I was born.
It was the first time I heard her voice. Her handwriting was real. Her words were full of love and heartbreak.
She didn’t place me for adoption because she didn’t want me.
She did it because she wanted me to have more than she could give.
That letter broke something open in me. I read it over and over. I held onto her words like pieces of a puzzle I didn’t know I’d been trying to solve.
It didn’t answer everything. But it was a start.
🔎 At 18, I Started Searching for My Birth Mom
When I turned 18, I decided to look for her.
I didn’t know what I’d find. If she’d want to be found. I knew I had to try.
We lived in different states, so it took a few months. But eventually, I found her.
And she wanted to meet me.
Seeing her in person was emotional and surreal. It wasn’t perfect. It was real.
She had a face. A voice. A laugh. I looked like her.
And in that moment, I realized something:
I wasn’t someone who had just been “given away.” I was someone who had been thought about, missed, and loved from afar.
🌿 What It Feels Like to Be Adopted — And Still Be Healing
Being adopted is filled with mixed emotions.
You can be grateful for the life you were given and still grieve the one you didn’t have.
You can feel loved and still feel loss.
Meeting my birth mom didn’t erase the hard parts. But it helped me understand that I was never forgotten. I was never unwanted.
I was just part of a story that started before I could write it myself.
💬 Why I’m Telling My Story
I’m sharing this because adoption is complicated — and so rarely talked about honestly.
If you’ve been adopted, if you’ve placed a child, or if you’ve wrestled with both sides like I have, I want you to know:
✨ You are not broken.
✨ You are not ungrateful for having questions.
✨ You are not alone.
This is just the beginning of my story. And maybe, it’s the beginning of yours too.
I’ve lived both sides of adoption.
I was adopted. And later in life, I placed a child for adoption. That experience opened wounds I didn’t even know were still there.
It also showed me how much we need to talk about the love, the loss, the healing, the hard parts.
If you’re adopted, or you’ve placed a child, or you love someone who has, I hope my story helps you feel seen.
You’re not broken. You’re not ungrateful.
You’re human.
And so am I.
👉 Let’s Talk About It
In my next post, I’ll open up about what it was like to place a child for adoption — how I made that decision, what I felt, and how it changed me forever.
But before you go, I’d love to hear from you:
💬 Have you been adopted?
💬 Did you place a child for adoption?
💬 Are you searching for someone or part of a reunion story?
Drop a comment below, or send me a message. Your story matters too.
Thanks for being here. Truly. 🤍
What’s Next
In my next post, I’ll share why I chose adoption for my baby. How it happened, what I felt, and how it changed me forever.
Want to share your story or connect? Leave a comment below or reach out to me. I’d love to hear from you.